


I Should've Been Somebody

by MalecAcid



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Ben Hargreeves Lives, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Drabble, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Good Sibling Ben Hargreeves, Good Sibling Luther Hargreeves, Light Angst, Luther Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Mild Hurt/Comfort, No Incest, Not Canon Compliant, POV Ben Hargreeves, POV Third Person, Post-Season/Series 01, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29043150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalecAcid/pseuds/MalecAcid
Summary: He didn't know how long he had sat there, watching the sky grow dark, before he heard leaves crunch behind him, and he whipped around, only to see Luther, an apologetic look on his face.ORLuther apologizes.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	I Should've Been Somebody

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evelinaonline](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evelinaonline/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVE
> 
> I know that you haven't been that into reading tua fics recently, but I couldn't not write you anything so here's this little drabble!!
> 
> You're amazing and one of my most favorite people!! I hope you have a fantastic day and I love you sm!! 🥺🥺
> 
> Title from By Now by will jay!! Not that it has anything to do with the fic, ofc

Ben coming back to life and everything returning back to normal had been hard for everyone.

They had all moved back into the empty academy and were planning on staying until Five gave them the all clear. And after that, who knows?

Until that time came, though, they all had to find ways to pass the time. Usually that consisted of listening to Luther's records or Allison's old CDs, and rarely actually talking to each other.

Despite the fact that they had been through so much, they were all still awkward around each other. A few weeks spent together saving the world wasn't going to change the many years they had spent without talking to each other.

That awkwardness that everyone felt around each other was only doubled for Ben. Any time that he spoke to anyone other than Klaus, they would stare at him as if he was a hallucination, as if he was just a figment of their imagination. He didn't know if it was worse than them not seeing him at all.

Sometimes, he would go outside to the courtyard and sit by his statue, his hood pulled high over his head, shielding his face. The statue was a reminder that he was unnatural. He was supposed to be dead, and yet here he was, his heart beating as he breathed actually needed air into his lungs.

It was nice. Being alive was nice. Being able to talk to his siblings was even better.

He just wished that they all saw him as a person. A regular, living person. Instead of a glass that could shatter at any moment.

He didn't know how long he had sat there, watching the sky grow dark, before he heard leaves crunch behind him, and he whipped around, only to see Luther, an apologetic look on his face.

"Sorry." He said quietly, moving to sit next to him.

Ben turned his head away to look back up to the sky. "It's okay."

The silence after that was pressing, closing in on him. He could sense Luther looking at him, but he didn't look back, only continued to watch as stars started to appear in the dark sky.

He hated the awkwardness. Luther and him were close as kids, and they used to be able to sit in comfortable silences together, just happy in each other's presence.

It was different now, though. Ben had been dead for too many years and they had both changed too much. The connection that they had between them had been broken.

Ben wasn't ready to admit there was a chance that they couldn't repair it.

The silence only lasted a few seconds before it grew to be too much, and Ben spoke up.

"Uh, not to be rude, but-"

"Why am I here?" Luther cut him off, a small smile on his face, and Ben gave a small laugh, nodding. "I don't know, I just, wanted to sit here, I guess."

"Oh," Ben started, shifting slightly, "I can go if-"

"No!" Luther quickly said, and Ben jumped a little in surprise. "No, that's not, that's not what I meant."

"Oh," He repeated, and Luther sighed.

"I just, I wanted to tell you sorry." He said, not looking Ben in the eyes.

"Sorry?" Ben questioned, turning to face him. "Why?"

"Because of, you know, that night." He said, and Ben tilted his head in confusion.

"I'm gonna need you to be a bit more specific." He said, laughing nervously, and Luther sighed again, tilting his head down to stare at the ground.

"The night you, well, you know." Luther said, struggling to get the words out, and suddenly Ben realized.

"The night I died." He said, voice flat, and Luther seemed to almost flinch, nodding.

"Yeah, I'm… I'm sorry." He said, and turned to look at Ben, only to see him staring at Luther in disbelief.

"Why the hell are you sorry?" Ben asked incredulously, and Luther looked away. "It wasn't your fault. It was no one's fault. No one except our asshole of a father. Okay?"

He was silent for a moment, almost as if he was contemplating, before he gave a small nod, whispering a quiet "okay."

Ben nodded in response, turning his head away from Luther to look back up at the sky that was now completely filled with stars.

The silence was comfortable, this time.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked!! Have an amazing bday eve 🥺🥺


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